This Ocular Zygomatic Spasmoscope is the product of a decade's research and development by staff of Laboratory VII of the ICOLS Department of Global Nostalgia. It is used to capture, record and analyse the physical smiling function of healthy adults. So finely calibrated is this Spasmoscope that it will detect hitherto invisible flickerings of emotion such as may generally be disguised by those who for some reason or another wish to conceal them. Its present location, and that of Laboratory VII, are among the most closely guarded of ICOLS' commercial secrets.