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The
Labs
Each
lab is specially equipped to investigate a specific area of rumourology.
The Labs and their specific tasks as listed below, follow a model
of localised experimentation and investigation first outlined
by Doktor Rumor in her monograph "shhhhh", SRCSR Press,
Sydney:02/02/2002 .
1.Sonar
Lab: Rumour/rumore/noise/murmur/whisper
Tasks:
•
To investigate the signal to noise ratio in rumour <deriv.
rumore (It), noise>
•
To calculate the longevity of the rumour waveform
•
To discover the oldest living rumour and its susurrant source•
To discover a sonar algorithm for rumour generator (see Nuclear
Physis Lab)
2.Vulcanology
Lab
Tasks:
•
To investigate rumour eruptions
•
To discover the deepest living rumour and its magmatic source
•
To measure the seismic waves of rumour eruptions
3.Biotech
Lab: Rumour Genome Project
Tasks:
•
To discover the rumour gene(s)
•
To splice rumour gene(s) enabling
<wetter
rumours
<more
digestible rumours
<easier
handling of rumours
•
To investigate the propagation/reproduction of rumours and to
ultimately create artificial rumours
4.Nuclear
Physics Lab
Tasks:
•
To discover the rumour Theory of Everything
•
To create a rumour generator
•
To build an Electron Positron Rumour Collider, similar to the
very large accelerator in Cern Switzerland, so that scientists
can recreate the original ‘big bang’ or the birth of
rumour. This is a long term goal as it will need major finance
and commitment from the international community.
5.Alife
Lab
Tasks:
•
To discover rumours in the ether.net
•
To experiment with memetic algorithms.
6.Lost
and Found Department
This
Department includes a major database of all known lost and found
rumours.
Examples
from the database:
•
Jules Verne’s secret journey to Maria Island in Tasmania
in 1865
•
Al Queda is the CIA
•
The shameful use of refugees by the Australian government to supplement
dwindling food supplies.
•
John Howard is a robot created by Rodney Brooks at MIT Lab in
Cambridge Mass.
As
lost rumours are discovered/uncovered, this Department will direct
them to the appropriate Labs for analysis.
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